finally..

salam.

finally my 5-weeks posting of senior paediatric has come to the end.
(i hope that i wont forget about paeds till my pro exam 3!)


i had a very tough time in this posting, esp this year
and i've failed my clinical exam.
my short case marks was not able to cover up my long case exam...
it was sad and tough time for me.
i had cried at least three times.
right after the short case exam, that very evening after i've performed my solat asar, and when our coordinator asked me to stay after the class, today.

i think i had done my best. but it seems to me now that, my best, is not the very best. i could have done better..

i've got TB meningitis as my long case.
of all the cases in the ward, i was really2 unprepared for this one. i had even skipped reading TB meningitis when i was preparing for my long case. and it turns out to be a VERY bad decision
BAD DECISION DINI.
and to make it worse, they've just presented TB for paed's CPC one week before the exam. and i totally forgotten what they presented and that shows that i did not give 100% attention to their presentation. sorry guys. my bad.

my marks was cut down when i could not state the TB medications. damn you dini! i've totally forgotten about that.

yes, i do regret for skipping TB meningitis. i regret for not focusing to my collegues' presentation. and i am sad that i do not know the TB medication. but somehow, it gave me a wake up call..
to read about TB meningitis...
to read about TB
to listen to what other's are saying/presenting..
and to quote from one of my lecturers, " learning medicine is not what you WANT to learn. but what you HAVE to learn. that's mean...you HAVE TO LEARN EVERYTHING FOR THE SAKE OF YOUR PATIENTS"

ALLAH had made me realised that if i dont know the management of TB, or TB meningitis, i could have killed my patient. it's better for me to fail now, then to fail later, when i'm really a doctor. "A MEDICAL STUDENT IS SUPPOSED TO BE A GOOD DOCTOR, NOT A SERIAL KILLER" quoted from the same lecturer.

all in all, i had a very tough time in paediatric this year, and since this is my first posting, it has, to some degree, demotivated me. but................. i should not be doing that, and i should study harder for my next posting...

for the sake of my professional exam and my future patients.

ALLAH, show me the correct way.
guide me if i have even sway a little bit.

UJIAN ALLAH, TIDAK PERNAH YANG MEMBEBANKAN HAMBANYA. YANG DIBERINYA, HANYA YANG TERMAMPU BUAT HAMBANYA.
UJIAN ALLAH, KADANGKALA MENYAKITKAN, TAPI YANG SAKIT ITULAH YANG KITA AKAN INGAT.

friday 1st july 2011. 9 hours after the result was announced