peringatan buat diriku yg lemah ini..

taken from someone's fb:

" mengecilkan hati orang adalah berdosa, berkecil hati juga adalah berdosa. tetapi lebih besar dosanya jika kita berkecil hati"

thanks to that person for this reminder :)

----------
was suddenly crying when i thought about it. hmm. kena muhasabah diri balik ni.

thanks for those people that taught me the precious things in life.
in life,
not everything is beautiful
not everything flow like what we always wanted
by chances,
we choose between the two paths
to be happy
or to be sad

may Allah bless all of us.

it starts now!

the race towards PRO EXAM III starts.................NOW!!!

all the best dini!

all the best dini's classmates!

all the best semua!

Ya Allah, kuatkanlah hati-hati kami

berkatilah perjuangan kami

andai kata kami tersasar sebentar,

dan terlalai terleka

KAU berilah kami petunjuk

agar kami kembali ke jalan yang benar

dini,

kejayaan itu bukan hanya kerana usaha dan doa sahaja

ia jua kerana Allah

jika Allah tidak membenarkan nya,

tabahlah dini

kerana setiap yang berlaku itu,

ada hikmah disebaliknya

seperti pelangi yang cantik itu

muncul hanya selepas hujan

La Tahzan....n tahniah! :)

salam.

jgn bsedih dini. setiap yg blaku itu ada hikmahnye. lihatlah kpd pelangi yg muncul selepas hujan turun k :)

---------------

anyway, congrats tp my pakcik yg bernikah semalam n kenduri harini.. semoga anda berdua dibawah lindungan yang Maha Esa selamanya. hopefully ur marriage akan dipenuhi dengan segala keindahan yg ada di dunia ini. segala dugaan dan cabaran, ditempuhi bersama dengan tabah.. welcome makcik :)

<3 is in the air~

by the way, it was fun to finally meet all my nenek busu's children...untunglah kan? hehe

tahniah buat keluarga nenek busu n thanks nek for ur kindness selama ktorg duduk kat umah nenek..hehe

..

i can be ur best friend if u let me so.

memang

memang aku ***** pun. tak pyh ckp byk kali. tau dah.

*down*

life, must go on, Dini...

La Tahzan Ya Dini.
La Tahzan..

ada hikmah disebalik semua ini.
ada hikmahnya.

sedih. tersangat.

perasaan yg sama mcm 11 mggu lepas. perasaan yg sama masa fail paeds exam.

putting my hopes high up twice this week.
in the end, it crushes just like that.
mgkin ni semua balasan dr Allah. mungkin.
masa untuk muhasabah diri kembali....

i've prepared my long case yesterday in the hope that i can present that case today. but today everything has changed...

i think i've done everything yesterday for today. but kuasa Allah, takdirNya, tak siapa tahu kan.

i even ponteng my central lecture and cpc just for today..
i have even went to hospital again, yesterday, after i have met all my buddies. i even stayed till 1 am eventhough i should have slept earlier, when i had the rhinorrhea last night..

but today, everything changed. Allah, kalau ini ujian untukku, Kau kuatkanlah hatiku. Ya Allah, aku tahu, yg Kau sgt menyayangiku, kerana itu ujian ditimpakan kepadaku. kuatkanlah hatiku.teguhkanlah imanku.

Ya Allah, the Greatest.

to think of the bright side, at least i know something about septic arthritis now.
semua yg berlaku, ada hikmahnya.

aku pinta seekor rama-rama,

tapi Kau berikan ku seekor ulat bulu,

ulat yg kupandang,

sebelah mata

ulat yg jika kusentuh,

gatal badanku

Tapi Ya Allah,

sesungguhnya, Kau lebih mengetahui

ulat bulu itu,

akhirnya menjadi seekor rama-rama,

yang sangat cantik pada pandanganku.

Allah berikan apa yg kita perlu, bukan yg kita mahu

peringatan buat diriku yg mudah terlupa dan yg senang hanyut dengan dunia ini.

ampunkan dosa-dosa hambamu ini Ya Allah.

dini, senior orthopedics posting.

adik oh adik, kenapa macam ni jadinya?

salam.
today, i went to a programme organized by my faculty.
it was supposed to be about 35++ students attending the programme, end up with only 12 ppl coming to the programme

and where the hell are those who could not make it?
some of them give the reason of, ' i don't have friend to accompany me'
hello, am i not good enough to be ur friend? yes, i might be ur senior, but i can be a friend with you, and u might not even noticed the gap of seniority there..
this is the time that you should make friends with us.
i personally thought that,
on saturday,
i'm going to meet my juniors,
and i'm going to make friends with them.
and i was thinking that,
juniors will outnumbered us, the seniors for today's event

and it all end up of only a small numbers of them showing up.

some of them,
gave the reason that 'i'm going home'

dear sisters n brothers,
a piece of advice,
if you cant fulfill the janji that u made,
pls, PLEASE dont ever made that promise.
because you'll be asked about that in Akhirat later.

dear sisters and brothers,
do you all know,
the reason of telephone being made?
and all those technologies these days?
and the social network eg facebook, twitter?
that is to made the communication easier
SO, if you ever thought of tidak pergi ke suatu majlis,
di mana anda telah memberi nama,
a promise,
YOU SHOULD INFORM US BEFOREHAND.
THAT, DOES NOT MEAN 30 MINUTES BEFORE BAS BERTOLAK
THAT, DOES NOT MEAN, AFTER 30 MINUTES OF PPL WAITING FOR YOU
if you do that,
i'd considered that as rude

RUDE MAN. NO OTHER WORDS TO DESCRIBE IT.

lagi2 bile tengok muke Dr berubah sgt tadi.

dont ever play with the fire, guys, because it will burnt you later.

a promise, is a promise.

you guys had made us furious.
you guys kan, should go and apologize to the lecturer.
because,
she already book for food of 40 ppl,
end up only 12 ppl showing up,
and of course, that booking cant be cancelled last minute.
GO, AND APOLOGIZE TO THAT LECTURER.


if you guys want to be rude with us, it's still ok.
but, if you ever want to be rude with the lecturer(s), that one, is UNFORGIVEABLE!!

adik oh adik,
kenapa macam ni jadinya?
we doesnt want to go and scold you,
because you guys are grown up.
u're university students!

words, can't describe how furious we were!

words, can't describe how rugi you were because terlepas bermain di tepi pantai!
it was fun and enjoyable to me, but you guys had missed that out.

i hope i do not hate u, but hate ur act

i'm sorry if i hurt u.
i'm sorry if i hate u. i hope i hate ur acts, not urself.
dont be so gedik infront of me. i dont really like it, considering i know who you are before this.
plz act like ur age. be mature.
and if u want to be gedik, plz dont be in front of me.
i'm so sorry...

i think u hv changed since then.
seriously, i was hurt then. when i considered it is a big event in ur life. and when i considered how closed we were that time.
i had this respect for you since i knew you. but that respect was somehow flown away since then. i'm so sorry.maybe i was jealous towards you, i do not know that.
anyway, i still pray that you'll have great days n moments in ur life. hoping that the changes that u've made, the steps u've taken, make you happy always.
and may the relationship built, stays forever.

i'm sorry friend. i love you.

instability? seizure? huh?

salam.

this happened yesterday when i was on my way from hkl to infront of GS....

sedang sy berjalan2 bersama haslina, sambil berborak2, tetibe....
sy jatuh!
and seriously speaking, jatuh yg bukan mcm biasa org jatuh. ntahla, xtau nk describe. even my friend was shocked to see me fall down like that.
it was like 2 consecutive falls, except i was not fully fallen down on the first one.
haslina wanted to help me when she saw me 'about to fall down' initially, but she thought (and i was thinking the same way too) that i could stabilize my self. it turn out that i fall down further while trying to stabilize my self...
i wanted to hold the pillars nest to me, but somehow i could not! and i just dont know why!!
and as the result,
i fall down in a funny way,
tear my newly bought shoes, and,
somehow my palm reddened.
i wish i could record how i fall down yesterday.

anyhow, luckily i did not fall down when i was in the middle of the road.alhamdulillah. and luckily, i think nobody else saw that incident..hehe :)

my friends make some comments..
that i might have instability...
having cerebellar symptom...
or having seizure attack! (while walking? seriously??)

all in all,
i was glad that i'm not injured.just a little bit shocked and wondering how n why i fall down at that time...
and that left me thinking...
maybe i need a full body/complete checkup of my health.

being a medical student doesnt mean that i'm on the top of health,
and being a daughter to a doctor, doenst mean i can't be sick!

YA ALLAH,
TERIMA KASIH KERANA KESIHATAN YG TELAH KAU BERIKAN KEPADAKU.
DAN KERANA MASA2 SAKIT YG KAU BERIKAN KEPADAKU.
KERANA AKU TAHU DAN YAKIN,
SEMUA YG TERJADI, ADA HIKMAH DISEBALIKNYA.
BAIK SIHAT MAHUPUN SAKIT..

CPC, Exam, Seminar

CPC sudah habis. end. lega. i've done my part. hope my collegues get something from it:)

end of posting exam OnG. good day. 4th of ramadhan. good time. good case. and i've passed my ong exam :) thanks Dr for not being so cynical n evil that day :) berkat bulan ramadhan :)


WELCOME TO SENIOR ORTHOPEDICS POSTING~
where we'll revise all the examination in the first week. having rehab posting for one week, and one week of examination. a total of 8 weeks.

seminar. spine injury. confusing. no mood at all to do it. *sigh*
have to submit it tomorrow and present in this upcoming tuesday.
ok nvm. at least after that i can rest peacefully and read about other topics.

end

a trip to pagoh

it was fun, fun and fun! :)
alhamdulillah that i'm part of that event.

penat

CPC.
memenatkan.letih.
:(

exam week is also known as emotional-outburst-week!

salam.

i'm about to come to the end of my 2nd posting, senior OnG posting.
next week is my exam.
and after much kekeliruan and all, i've got my examiner name.
on one part, it is good for us to know the examiner's name beforehand, so we can prepare according to that examiner's style.
on the other part, it also creates anxiety and stressful environment, for those getting the examiners they dont prefer to get, and for those who get the examiners that are not malignant, or killer examiner, it creates such a calming sensation and a feeling like 'i've passed my exam." or, " i'll pass my exam. no worries. the examiner is nice so she/he wont failed me.' definetely 'i can go to the exam with a good mood..'

as for me, hmm...it creates anxiety. and now i'm so stressful.

so, next week will be my emotional week.
i'll be having my exam on thursday, when all my groupmates and housemates (i think those in paeds hv finished their exam by then, too) have finish their exam..can u see how stressful u are, when all others will be chitchatting infront while you'll be reading your notes alone on ur desk? and how thankful they are, and i bet, they will go outing by then.

GERAM.MARAH.BENGANG.SEDIH.TAKUT.

hmmmm...............

my oh my.
DEAR ALLAH, do bless me in everything i do. do help me when i'm in need.jagalah hambamu ini dalam jalan yg lurus dan nyata.
DEAR ALLAH,kuatkan hatiku.

chocolate cyst

chocolate cyst mmg mcm chocolate!

* a type of ovarian pathology
also known as endometrioma = endometriotic cyst
can be removed laparoscopically
present with dysmenorrhea, pelvic pain

senior OnG posting..

salam..

this monday i'm going to enter my 4th week of OnG posting..and the next week will be my final week in OnG before pro exam 3...huhu..scary :(

last week i was posted in gynae rotation in H.Kjg..it was superb :)
1. i stayed at home the whole week except on tuesday bcoz i have central lecture on wednesday...
2. the HOD was soooo nice, and he likes to teach, A LOT~
3. i was able to observe laparoscopic operation, and it was such a miracle :), and to be able to see the fibroid being removed laparoscopically (of course after they had morselated the HUGE fibroid)...it was just...WOW! technology had made our lives easier rite?

nevertheless, obs rotation was fun too!but tiring of course~
hmm, the only thing that upset me was that i have to do such a hard cpc, and it is gynae case..adoi~
but anyway, come to think of it, it is better for me to do the cpc this time around, rather than i'm doing it much more later. so after this i dont have to spent my time doing other cpc (i hope!)

OnG posting is a busy posting, but i think at least, i'm not as stressful in OnG like i was in paeds posting last month...alhamdulillah :)
i just hope the upcoming weeks and posting will be much less stressful..i just can't really focused on my study when i'm so tired+stressful.

hmm.. i have lots of topics to be revised, so this is the end now! chowchinchow~

YA ALLAH, KAU PERMUDAHKANLAH SEGALA URUSAN HAMBAMU INI :)

finally..

salam.

finally my 5-weeks posting of senior paediatric has come to the end.
(i hope that i wont forget about paeds till my pro exam 3!)


i had a very tough time in this posting, esp this year
and i've failed my clinical exam.
my short case marks was not able to cover up my long case exam...
it was sad and tough time for me.
i had cried at least three times.
right after the short case exam, that very evening after i've performed my solat asar, and when our coordinator asked me to stay after the class, today.

i think i had done my best. but it seems to me now that, my best, is not the very best. i could have done better..

i've got TB meningitis as my long case.
of all the cases in the ward, i was really2 unprepared for this one. i had even skipped reading TB meningitis when i was preparing for my long case. and it turns out to be a VERY bad decision
BAD DECISION DINI.
and to make it worse, they've just presented TB for paed's CPC one week before the exam. and i totally forgotten what they presented and that shows that i did not give 100% attention to their presentation. sorry guys. my bad.

my marks was cut down when i could not state the TB medications. damn you dini! i've totally forgotten about that.

yes, i do regret for skipping TB meningitis. i regret for not focusing to my collegues' presentation. and i am sad that i do not know the TB medication. but somehow, it gave me a wake up call..
to read about TB meningitis...
to read about TB
to listen to what other's are saying/presenting..
and to quote from one of my lecturers, " learning medicine is not what you WANT to learn. but what you HAVE to learn. that's mean...you HAVE TO LEARN EVERYTHING FOR THE SAKE OF YOUR PATIENTS"

ALLAH had made me realised that if i dont know the management of TB, or TB meningitis, i could have killed my patient. it's better for me to fail now, then to fail later, when i'm really a doctor. "A MEDICAL STUDENT IS SUPPOSED TO BE A GOOD DOCTOR, NOT A SERIAL KILLER" quoted from the same lecturer.

all in all, i had a very tough time in paediatric this year, and since this is my first posting, it has, to some degree, demotivated me. but................. i should not be doing that, and i should study harder for my next posting...

for the sake of my professional exam and my future patients.

ALLAH, show me the correct way.
guide me if i have even sway a little bit.

UJIAN ALLAH, TIDAK PERNAH YANG MEMBEBANKAN HAMBANYA. YANG DIBERINYA, HANYA YANG TERMAMPU BUAT HAMBANYA.
UJIAN ALLAH, KADANGKALA MENYAKITKAN, TAPI YANG SAKIT ITULAH YANG KITA AKAN INGAT.

friday 1st july 2011. 9 hours after the result was announced

one whole week of bad luck, one whole posting of ....(fill in the blank)

:(

i'm in my senior paediatric posting now and i'm having one whole week of torture and scolding :'(

fifth year is my final year (i hope so) and final year students are expected to know everything..

we've (my group) been scolded this whole one month and the worst and the climax was on Tuesday, when we had a class with our lecturer and was scolded and given some kind of brainwashing-slot and of course, discussion of our 2 cases. the class was supposed to be just one hour or at most 2 hours but we ended up with having class for 7 hours.

the class WAS a wakeup call for me, of course...(yelah after being scolded for straight 7 hours kalau tak sedar diri taktau lah kan)

the week started off with good thing. and then when the evening came, there come our suffering!
and then more bad luck come...from A to B to C.....
and i dont even have the time to do my write up!! arghhhhh!!!! so stressful lah!

and what more stressful is....i'm having my end of posting exam next week! and i'll be having my long case on monday and that's mean that i have to go through all my notes and whatever necessary on this weekend...

i'm a bit pissed off when my roommate and my housemates were saying that we look like as though as we're not stressful at all..HELL NO!!
tak nampak ke how busy we were, and how stressful we were??!!!

you were saying that you saw me still sleeping at 730 in the morning and that just mean that we're not as busy and stressful as you are??!!
and you saw me studying and sitting at my desk every single day and you still can say that??!!
what about the time that i can only come back from hospital at 7 pm but you already had your 2 hours evening sleep?? and that you say that we're not as busy as you ??

in contrast, i did not see you sitting and studying on your desk or wherever every single day like me, still can go out every single night, can still manage to smile and laugh everyday? and you still have time to talk just about anything but not medicine..and that what you're saying that you're busy and stressful?? just wait till you're in this posting. and then you know what we're going through.

i didn't even have time to talk to my best friend because i didnot have time to, and i have to hurry and eat instead of talking to my best friend to catch up about latest gossip!!!



I'M SO STRESSED UP RIGHT NOW!!

kena marah sikit-ok lagi
kena marah 7 jam berterusan- demotivating!

anyway, i hope i'm going to be fine this whole year. yes, i agree that i'm not in the mood of professional exam 3 yet, but i'll try to be my best for that. and i'll start now!

anyway, i think that's all for now.

YA ALLAH, KAU PERMUDAHKANLAH URUSAN HARIANKU.
KAU PERMUDAHKANLAH URUSAN PEPERIKSAANKU
YA ALLAH YA TUHANKU
AMPUNILAH DOSA2 KU.
BERILAH KEJAYAAN KEPADA KU DAN KAWAN2 KU.

community medicine grp D 2010/2011-barbeque night/jeram toi

because you're worth it:)

welcome to 5th year!

paediatric posting as my first posting...
exhausting!!
busy, busy and busy even for the first week
still trying to recall those things that i've learnt last year..

all the best dini!
Allah will always be there~

bestnye scaling gigi!

:)